Dear William, Daniel, Catherine, (and Baby Boy X [Michael] & Baby Girl Y) (and your parents), (and any future descendants and their parents),
Baby Boy X!? On or about September 11, 2015, William and Catherine will have a new First Cousin, and Daniel will have a new Brother. I do not know what his name will be; so, for now, I am calling him Baby Boy X. Of course, this means that Malgosia and John will have a new baby — their second son; and Marek, Kelly, Rysio and Stephanie will have a new Nephew; and Babcia Krysia and I will have a new Grandson! Wow — our family is growing!!!
Baby Boy X Sasieta
Now I want to discuss a VERY SERIOUS topic with all four of you — actually, I want you to re-read this when YOU are 50 years old, as it may be very relevant to your lives THEN.
Yesterday I attended a Lunch and Learn presentation: “Home Care – Things You May Want To Know … For When The Time Comes!” Lunch and Learn is a series of meetings on a variety of topics given during the lunch time. A bunch of us get together, eat lunch, listen to a presentation, ask questions, talk, and discuss things.
This particular presentation was about getting old. It was VERY depressing. I almost cried. [Secretly I did, but nobody noticed.]
I realized that when YOU are 50, I will probably not be able to be of much help to you; yet, YOU may then have a very big PROBLEM — YOUR PARENTS! They will be in their 90’s!!!!!!!!
What are some signs that your parents may no longer be able to live alone?
- Reduced interactions with other people
- Reduced Functional Abilities (cooking, bill pay, cleanliness etc.)
- Age Related Decline (forgetfulness, challenged movement)
- Depression
- General Changes in Behavior
What are the long term options for an aging parent that can no longer live alone?
- Care in the private home (90% of seniors want to stay at home)
- Independent Living Facilities
- Assisted Living Facilities
- Skilled Nursing Facilities
- Continuing Care Retirement Communities
What is Home Care?
- Companionship and Personal Care for the elderly provided by a Certified Home Health Aide
- * Companionship – Errands, Medication Reminders, Cooking, Light Housekeeping, Activities
- * Personal Care – Activity of Daily Living …. shower, dressing, transfer, toileting, feeding
- Generally not covered by Medicare or Medical Insurance (Only Long Term Care Insurance or Medicaid) — so: start nagging your parents NOW about getting Long Term Care Insurance — It Is Expensive; but the alternative is WORSE
- It is long term in nature
- ‘Client and Family’ focused
- Available as ‘hourly’ (usually with minimums) or ‘live-in’
- * Hourly: $20 – $25 (2015 rates in N.J.)
- * Live: $195 – $250 per day (2015 rates in N.J.)
Once its time …… A few key questions to consider:
- How much care is needed/desired? (May drive a location decision)
- Does mom/dad want to stay at home or are they open to a supported environment?
- Is mom/dad open to having help?
- What resources are available to fund care? (May also drive location)
- What is the role of the family?
As you grow up, I hope that you discuss these issues with each other, and your spouses, and your friends; and that you seek out appropriate help as you need it — from attorneys, counselors, doctors, and other professionals that may be available to you. These are VERY difficult decisions. Be nice to MY kids. I love them very much, and I depend on YOU do do right by them.
Love,
Dziadziuś Paweł.
